A Package Arrives pt 2 – Is It Safe?

Continued

The air of expectation in the pub was almost palpable – puctuated by random grumbles ‘geronwivit’ – as I mischeviously pretended to struggle to open the relatively non-descript envelope…

It was addressed to ‘Funk – Old Heatonian’, and had been pushed through the pub letterbox – presumably sometime earlier in the morning. 

Given the nations heightened state of awareness of all things ‘terrorist’, I was of course reluctant to rush into anything, fearing retribution from any one of the, shall we say, unwitting contributors to our ongoing account of village life.  So I sniffed the package all over, searching for the tell tale odour of marzipan or any unusual chemical smell. 

I examined it minutely, looking for pinholes placed to allow an explosive compound to ‘breathe’. 

I flexed it cautiously, hefting it to determine any unusual weight distribution which may betray the presence of batteries or timing mechanisms.

I fingered it delicately, searching in vain for the telltale sign of wires.

At last, finally satisfied that the parcel would do no harm, I slowly, and methodically, began to tear open the flap…

To be continued